Backstory

Ignorance | 2011

As I gaze upon this painting, one of my many self-portraits, I am filled with gratitude for the journey that led me to this point. Self-expression has been an essential tool for my personal growth, and this particular work of art reflects my state of mind during much of my distant past. Through this self-portrait, I am reminded of the pain that I experienced due to my ignorance and the pain inflicted on me by other ignorants.

My eyes are shut and the left is swollen, bleeding cuts across my face, and my mouth is partially open, but I lack the energy to speak. This is the true image of victimhood, a physical representation of my mental self-harm. I often ponder what life might have looked like had I discovered self-awareness at a younger age.

My experiences as a child in missionary schools and a number of Christian fanatical institutions did nothing to nurture the creativity and sensitivity within me. Instead, I was taught that the solutions to my ‘faults’ lay in the grace of an external entity. I was made to believe that I was worthless without participating in various rituals of surrender and embracing a blind acceptance of truths presented by religious authorities, themselves ignorant of the harm they inflict.

The healthier alternative would have been nurturing curiosity, creativity and self-reflection. It would have involved a safe place to ask questions, without harmful labels and a search for answers outside oneself.

While I acknowledge my ignorance on many matters, my aim is always to be a student, conscious of the manipulations and gaslighting tactics that permeate our world. I remind myself continuously that life is difficult and complex, but manageable when I reflect on myself and others with eyes wide open.

Technique

SURFACE:
Parchment (berānnā):
I used pre-treated goat skins imported from Ethiopia to create parchment. However, I thought that they looked too clean and neat for my series when they arrived in The Netherlands. To give them a more natural look and colour, I dug a hole in the garden and buried the parchment. I added Ethiopian red spices, coffee, and tea to stain them and create ‘naturally’ coloured values. After a few days, it had the desired effect. I chose to use parchment in my series because it allowed me to explore life & death through materials that held both.
I have to note though that since then, I have become vegan and decided to refrain from using animal products in my life and work.

MEDIUM:
Berbere Spices (Amharic: በርበሬ bärbäre, Tigrinya: በርበረ bärbärä)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berbere
Indian Ink
www.royaltalens.com
Old Holland Oil Paints
www.oldholland.com
Coffee & Tea

TECHNIQUE:
I let the ink flow on the wet parchment using turpentine on a brush to disperse it and create pools. I did the same with oil paint (raw umber). Once satisfied with the image I added scar lines in a custom red.

Artists Collection