into the stream

destruction has followed me through my life as an artist. i’ve burned, broken, and erased my own work, searching for release when i cannot bear the pain.

in recent weeks, two sculptures met my hammer. each in a moment of rage, the kind that comes from giving everything to a path that gives little back. one can’t live on compliments; the work takes more than it returns.

two days ago i woke up and changed my entire day. i cancelled my appointments and drove into the hills, needing distance from the studio and from myself. three small sculptures lay in the car, all meant for destruction.

i hiked until i found a stream, placed one piece in the water, and covered it with stones. ceramics blends into the landscape, a natural material, fading only over centuries. if someone one day finds it, the story may continue, a new context, a new adventure. destruction ends that possibility.

the destroyer energy lifted. in its place came a quiet lightness, the sense that i’d given something back, allowing it to exist beyond me.