Painting Endings

Oil painting has been my sanctuary for many years. From the moment I started with oil painting at age 12, I have been in awe of the incredible possibilities for expression. While I have experimented with many types of paint in the past decades, from acrylic and ink to paints made from spices, I always returned to oil paints. They offered unparalleled richness and depth, allowing me to create layers of translucent colours and capture nuances that remained hidden in any other paints. The glazing technique achieved a depth of colour and a soft, luminous quality that fascinated me immensely. However, I reached a moment where this wonderful medium no longer guided my artistic growth, but rather began to hinder it.

Subject and Experimentation

I have always been captivated by the human experience and the emotions behind our social masks. This fascination led me to explore self-portraits and delve into the lives of others through my art. I aimed to capture those quiet moments, when there is only stillness, no external observer but the ‘self’. The urge to visually express such moments motivated me to experiment and challenge my own boundaries. In my earlier paintings, my perfectionism drove me to hide the brushstrokes and create smooth images. However, I found that it also smoothed over the purity, the rawness of the human essence that I aimed to capture. So I started using subtle textures which I glazed with thin layers of paint, a technique that was much more effective in drawing out subtleties and complexities. Yet, my perfectionism kept getting in the way and many of my paintings never saw the light of day. I preferred their destruction.

Change

After years of challenging and overcoming my creative blockages, I realised that holding onto the past was hindering my growth as an artist. Even though I had several exhibitions and gained recognition for my techniques, self-doubt and aversion to self-promotion held me back. In the end I felt a hollowness, a lack of inspiration and motivation creeping in. More often than not, I was ‘blocked’. Somewhere deep down, I knew that I needed a radical change to explore new possibilities and find fresh inspiration, but the fear of wasting twenty-five years of hard work, development, and growth palayzed me.

Moving to Cyprus in 2021 finally gave me the perfect opportunity. The challenge of sourcing painting materials on the island became discouraging and was the final push I needed to make a switch. In the meantime, I discovered The Maker's Space, a studio and gallery for ceramics. Intrigued, I contacted the owner, Lee-Anne Raw, whose passion for ceramics inspired me. I decided to surrender to sculpting as my new calling and purchased various stoneware and local terracotta clays to experiment with.

Renewed Passion

From the moment I started working with clay, I felt a renewed sense of passion and enthusiasm. Sculpting offered a world of new possibilities and artistic freedom that I had not experienced before. The transition from the two-dimensional plane to a three-dimensional sculpture was exhilarating, challenging me to think in new ways and consider how the piece would be perceived from all angles.

Each sculpture seemed to accept my initial lack of experience with grace, using it to its advantage. I discovered a different kind of experimentation using vinegar, paper and drying techniques. The versatility of sculpting allowed me to translate the themes I had explored in my paintings into tangible, expressive forms. The process itself became a meditation, where I could fully immerse myself in the act of creation.

Hereafter

The creative journey continues, liberating oneself from old patterns, doubts, and the pursuit of perfection. I’ll let this newfound inspiration guide me and the medium teach me.