what it gave me is also real. a precise and unromantic understanding of human nature. the choices people make, the dynamics they create, what it looks like when a person refuses to fill their own emptiness, and what it costs the people around them.

the critic in my head had its usual script, measuring every line and value against an unliveable standard. the thought tightened into a sentence: i’m fucking useless, why am I wasting my time?